“HBO Changes the Name of the Iconic Movie, Gone With The Wind,” reads the Variety headline. The movie will now be titled, “Gone With the Everything Else We’re Used To.”
However, due to obstacles erected by Margaret Mitchell’s estate and her publisher, they will be changing the title back, but are considering a remake.
Renee Zellwegger will play the part of Mammy in the new version, Denzel Washington will play Rhett Butler, and Halle Berry will enact the role of Scarlett. A transgender actor is being sought for the part of Melanie.
Things became confused in script meetings between the producers and the cast. Tara, the O’Hara’s plantation, will be staffed with extras made up of itinerant laborers, Indian tech workers on temporary visas, and out of work college graduates of all ethnicities. When the Civil War scenes were rehearsed, no one knew who they should shoot at. Groups of extras, assigned to work in the fields, made protest signs declaring that All Cast Members Matter. The situation was further complicated by everyone wearing masks.
HBO then decided instead to use everyone for a remake of Zorro, mistakenly assuming that Zorro wore a mask over his lower face.
Executives at the company inserted a disclaimer at the beginning of the original Gone With the Wind. The disclaimer informs audiences that slavery is bad, thereby heading off another outbreak of it in the 21st century.